We all envy those parents whose newborn sleeps through the night from the time they bring them home, but the truth of the matter is, this does not always last. As your child develops their sleep patterns change, so the baby who was once sleeping through the night from birth, may start waking during the night at about 2 months old or be difficult to get to sleep, and those babies who were constantly waking through the night from birth, may settle in to sleep through the night. So, whether you're the parent of a newborn, toddler or older child, chances are you have, you are, or you will experience sleep deprivation as a result of your child's ever-changing sleep patterns, unless you do something about it before it can become a problem.
Getting Started
Before you even attempt any of these sleep training methods it is important that you establish the following in order to make it easier on both you and your child.
1. Create a basic day time schedule. 2. Help baby distinguish between night and day. 3. Create a relaxing night schedule.
4. Encourage good sleep habits in your child.
The Daytime Routine
Consistency is the most important thing when it comes to establishing a successful daytime routine with your child. If you are inconsistent with your child's schedule it confuses not only them, but also their circadian rhythm (see below). Having said that, the routine you establish needs to meet the needs of everyone in your family, especially if you have older children as well as younger ones.
Experts say that when you bring a newborn home, you should not establish a whole new schedule, but work baby into your existing schedule to avoid too much upheaval for the rest of the household and most especially for you. Just ensure you leave yourself enough time to change, feed, play with and get baby back to sleep.
For older babies and children your routine will still consist of the same elements as with a newborn, but these will not be as often. The basis to a good routine is consistency. Of course, what you do for yourself or around the house may vary each day, but what you do with and for your child shouldn't. They rely on that consistency for security, and for those who can't talk yet, to know when to expect to be fed or have some quality time.
The Circadian Rhythm
The circadian rhythm is a 24 hour biological clock which is a part of all of us from the day we are born. It regulates cycles of sleep, wake, activity, rest, hunger and other bodily functions such as voluntary muscle movements, hormone secretion, respiration etc, and restarts itself every 24 hours.
The “clock” is controlled by the hypothamalus which is a part of the brain that controls sleep patterns. The retina of the eye sends signals to a part of the hypothamalus called the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which distinguishes between day and night, light and dark. This particular ability does not begin to develop until your baby is about 4-6 weeks old, therefore, until then they cannot tell the difference between day and night. As a result you need to teach them the difference by maintaining a routine which will distinguish the different times of day, ie; the time for wake and the time for sleep.
It can take your child until the age of 4-6 months before they have a adapted properly to a day/night schedule, but by then they should have developed a regular sleep/wake cycle. Be aware though that this cycle may not match yours as much as you would like and you may still have disrupted sleep.
Teaching Baby The Difference Between Day & Night
While routine is of utmost importance in helping your baby learn the difference between day – play and wake time, and night – sleep time, here are some tips which you can add into your routine which will help you.
· When you feed your baby at night, keep the atmosphere calm and quiet. Once baby has finished feeding put them straight back to bed. This helps them to understand that at this particular time of their cycle it is not play time.
· Try to keep the baby's room as dark as possible at night, and during the day ensure they are exposed to plenty of light, particularly sunlight as opposed to artificial light. Sunlight produces a different frequency of light than household light bulbs, and it helps baby distinguish between the light of daytime, and the light which appears inside when it becomes dark.
· Keep baby stimulated during the day, play with them, take them outside. Then at night, try to create a more calming atmosphere. This will help baby recognise the sleep hours from the wake hours.
· If baby sleeps past a scheduled feed time, wake them up. They may be sleeping soundly, but if you don't it will confuse the inner-cycle.
· Continue about your usual activities during the day, even if baby is sleeping. It doesn't matter how much noise you make, baby should be used to it from hearing it within the womb, and they will also grow accustomed to it. Baby will then learn to attribute certain sounds and activities to daytime, teaching them that day isn't only for sleeping.
· If you breastfeed your baby, try to feed them naturally at night. Breast milk expressed during the day lacks the hormone 'melatonin' which aids sleep as it is only released at night. The hormone is like a signal to your baby to sleep.
Baby's Sleep Requirements
The wake-eat-play-sleep cycle your baby develops will usually be every 3 hours at first. As they get older the time between feedings will lengthen and they will also sleep for longer periods of time. The number of times a baby is expected to wake at night will also decrease as they get older. Until they are about 3 months old, your baby's sleep will usually be divided equally between day and night. Below is an average reference for the amount of sleep required and the amount of night wakings to expect.
|
Age |
Hours of Sleep |
No. of Night Wakings |
|
Newborn |
16-18 |
2-3 |
|
1-3 months |
15-16 |
2-3 |
|
3-6 months |
14-15 |
2-3 |
|
6-12 months |
13-14 |
1-2 |
|
1-2 years |
13 |
1-2 |
|
2-3 years |
12 |
1-2 |
|
3-5 years |
11 |
1-2 |
Some children at the age of 1 year still have 1-2 naps a day and drop the second nap by the time they are 18 months old. It is normal for your child to still want a nap during the day right up until they reach the age of 5 years old.
If your child is sleeping significantly more or less than the averages in the table above, or are still wanting to nap past the age of 5, it is recommended you seek medical advice to rule out any underlying cause.
It is important to remember that the table above only shows averages and that there are many other factors which could affect your child's sleeping habits, such as, teething, colic, growing pains, emotional upheavals, environmental changes, learning to crawl or walk etc. Each child's sleep patterns are also dependent upon their individual personalities and that of the parents, so there is no point comparing yourself or your child to others as you are all different.
The Night-time Routine
The routine you establish which leads up to bedtime will vary for each child and each parent. It is important to include specific things that differ from the daytime routine so that your baby or child will know the difference. The night-time routine should also be calm and stress-free and should begin about 3 hours before you want them to go to sleep. Active play time should cease and be substituted by something more settling such as a bit of TV, reading stories, or even a game which doesn't involve excessive excitement. The idea of a night-time routine is to get your baby or child into a more serene state of mind which is more conducive to sleep.
Sleep Training Methods
Now that you have established all of the points mentioned in “Getting Started” and you find that your child is having trouble going to sleep on their own and/or going back to sleep on their own after waking at night, it might be time to try one of the sleeping methods mentioned below. If you have a child who has problems with both it is up to you whether you tackle one problem at a time or both at once.
Extinction Methods – The belief of this method is that by ignoring your baby's tears and letting them cry it out, you are teaching them how to fall asleep, and how to fall back to sleep on their own, taking away most, if not all intervention from you. There are several different techniques in this method some of which are more subtle than others. One thing to be aware of though is that the extinction method isn't for everyone, meaning if you can't handle hearing your baby cry and not run to comfort them, then this one may not be for you.
A) The Ignore It Approach
Your daytime schedule should consist of an Eating Time where you wake the child and offer a feeding if they haven't already woken themselves. It is said that by using this approach you create a routine hunger in your child making feeding times more predictable. Followed by Wake Time which consists of a period of time where you play with your baby/child, keeping them awake for a bit and ensuring they get your attention. Finally it is Nap Time, playtime is over and it's time to put baby back down to sleep. Avoid using props when you put them down to sleep such as nursing, rocking or sleeping with your baby as this interferes with this training method.
You need to regulate your schedule so that there is an equal amount of time between one eating/waking/sleeping cycle to the next. When establishing your schedule maintain consistent feeding times and consistent bed times, this will allow all ensuing days to follow the same routine.
Once you have achieved the feeding and sleeping schedule and your baby is about 4-6 months old it is time to start ignoring the crying when you put them down to sleep. It is not recommended to ignore your baby until they have reached this age.
Aims Of This Approach – 1) To maintain relationships with your partner, friends and family whether you have your child with you or not. 2) To have your life go on as it always had. 3) Development of a consistent eat-wake-sleep schedule with your baby/child.
What This Approach Can Accomplish – 1) A stable schedule will mean less stress and sleep deprivation for everyone. 2) The parent will have more control with the eating-waking-sleeping schedule. 3) The child will fit into your routine rather than have the child dictate the routine for you. 4) By ignoring their cries it can help them learn to fall asleep alone at bedtime and after night wakings.
B) Ignore-But-Check Approach
This approach still maintains the “ignore it” approach but gradually lengthened check ins. You establish a comforting bedtime routine, then once you have put them down you walk away but pop in to check on them occasionally, according to a progressive schedule. By doing this you are reassuring your child that you are there but you will not be a party to any attention-getting tactics.
Before you begin this approach you need to ensure that the bedtime routine you use during the night differs significantly from the one during the day. This is important in signalling to your child that the night-time routine means longer sleep periods. Again, it is not recommended to begin ignoring your child's cries until they are 4-6 months old.
After you put your baby down for the first night you try this approach ignore any crying for about 5 minutes the first time, then increase it to 10 minutes the second time, and then 15 minutes each time after that. On the second night increase each check in time by 5 minutes, eg. 10 minutes for the first, 15 minutes for the second and 20 minutes for each one after that. The 5 minute increase on each check in time will continue until by the 7th night you should be waiting 35 minutes before the first check in. Do the same thing for any night wakings. This approach commonly works within a space of a week, but don't be surprised if it does take a bit longer. Spend a few minutes soothing baby when you go in to check, but don't pick them up. Pat their back, speak soothingly to them, and lay them back down if they are standing up.
If your child is of the age where they can get in and out of bed by themselves it becomes not just a case of ignoring the crying, but also getting them to stay in bed. You can approach this in the same way as you do the crying, only the checking comes in shorter intervals. First you tell your child that they must stay in bed. If they get out of bed you will need to close the door, then you do the following checks: First night – first check at 1 minute, second check at 2 minutes, 3 minutes on the third check and 5 minutes on the forth and every ensuing check. Keep increasing the times you wait before checking until by the 7th day you are first checking on them 15 minutes after you put them to bed.
As for both instances, your child should be going to sleep on their own by the end of a week – providing you were consistent – if not just keep increasing the wait times. Unfortunately, until your child adapts to your technique you may have a few nights of very little sleep, especially for the night-wakings, but hopefully it will not last for more than a couple of weeks.
This method can work for children of any age. The use of progressively longer times between checks can help encourage you child to go to sleep on their own, and by shutting the door you are helping to teach your child to stay in bed without losing your patience.
C) Ignore-It-But-Be-There Approach
This approach states that if you ignore undesirable behaviour by not reinforcing it, even with negative attention, then your child will learn other ways of gaining your attention instead of through tears. With this approach you can still remain in the same room as your baby or child, using your presence to calm and reassure them without making eye contact or acknowledging them verbally. It is an especially enticing method to those parents who like routine, but don't like to leave their baby alone to cry it out.
To achieve success with this approach you need to do the following: 1) Establish a sleep schedule, which means giving you child the same bedtime every night, naps at the same time every day, and that the wake time in the morning is the same. 2) Establishing the bedtime routine, as explained in previous sections. 3) When your baby becomes drowsy but is still awake, put them into their bed/cot. 4) Remain close, in the same room is fine, but allow your child to cry to settle themselves. Still offer comfort by patting them on the back, but refuse to pick them up, talk to them or let them stay up later.
D) Splitting It Up Approach
With this approach you can deal with each problem separately using the ignore it methods in A,B or C. In phase 1 you will tackle getting a bedtime established and having your baby or child falling asleep on their own, and use whatever works for night wakings. In phase 2 you will have accomplished phase 1 and will then use whichever method you used for that phase to combat the night wakings.
Some babies or children tend not to need phase 2 as once phase 1 has been achieved they have learnt to fall asleep on their own and continue to do so when they wake up during the night.
Scheduled Wakings
This technique is used for babies or children who don't have any trouble going to sleep at bedtime but wake a lot during the night.
The idea is to wake your baby/child before they wake themselves, thus disrupting their night waking pattern. You will wake your child, only enough to ensure they are awake, and then let them go back to sleep. Gradually you increase the times between wakings until they are sleeping through the night.
Before you begin using this method you will need to keep a diary for a week and write down every time your child wakes up during the night. (You will find a sample diary sheet with the information you will need at the end of the article) Usually they will do so at consistent times every night, but you will need to know which times they wake so that you can wake them beforehand. You will need to wake your child 15-30 minutes before their usual wake times. You may still have unscheduled wakings for a while, but they should disappear after a week. Once the unscheduled wakings have stopped it is time to start increasing the times between wakings. For example: If your child woke up 3 times in the first week, by the second week you may only wake them up twice. Each week you will decrease the amount of wakings by 1 until eventually your child is not waking up at all during the night. Be warned that it may take up to 2 months before your child is consistency sleeping through the night.
All the methods you have read about here have been tried by parents world-wide and are only suggestions to help you and your child get a better night's sleep. If your baby or child has continuing sleep problems it is recommended you seek medical advice as there may be an underlying medical condition at the root of it.
Night-Waking Diary
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Day1 |
Day2 |
Day3 |
Day4 |
Day5 |
Day6 |
Day7 |
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Time to Bed |
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Time baby fell asleep |
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